Retrospect your career break
A pause teaches you more about yourself
A career break needs to be normalised because life is not all about studying, getting a good job, earning well, & then dying one day! Break, pause, reflect, and resume whenever you are 100% yourself should be the mantra.
Break is an incredibly rewarding journey, though not one without its fair share of challenges. I’ve learned a tremendous amount about my unhealthy relationship with productivity and my fears of uncertainty. By allowing myself time to enjoy the me-time, visit family, and learn new skills, I rediscovered the inspiration that had been buried over time.
The most difficult self-learning was to get rid of the image I set for myself over the years — The narration I told myself was that I am productive round the clock, I’m either organising my house, the swim-cycle-run brick workouts, listening to podcasts, brainstorming on product ideas to take the entrepreneurial route, reading the newsletters, quora-reddit-twitter stuff, walking around the lakes in my vicinity, drafting the thoughts running on my mind, reading a book, journalling, reciting my affirmations, cooking the new recipes I saved on YT, or visualising my next marathon or training for one.
Detaching from the overachievement mentality was way harder than I anticipated.
I have become obsessed with outdoing myself. I live every day making sure I do more, I perform better, I learn something new. I need to constantly remind myself to strive for greatness.
I barely live in the present. My mind is in the future most of the time. The moment I open my eyes in the morning, I am already thinking about where am I wrt my short-term & long-term goals. My next athletic event, my BMI, my metabolic age, my V02 max, what’s the value of my REM sleep, will I hit my personal best today, where my portfolio is at, did I make money while I was asleep, am I going to meet the love of my life today, and the list is infinite.
But what I forget to ask myself sometimes is: What am I working hard for?
It’s a piece of cake to tell myself that I’m working hard for my dreams, my ambitions, to check items off my bucket list, for my future, and for the people who believe in me, mainly to be proud of who I am. But I almost always exclude happiness as a reason for all of my efforts in life.
Maybe I assume that by being successful, I can automatically be happy. Maybe if I have all the things that I desire in life, I can already feel accomplished. Maybe if tons of people recognize my name, I can make my loved ones proud of me.
But maybe I have been living life the wrong way. Maybe what I really want, from the bottom of my heart, is to just be happy.
The right question to ask is “What would make your life more meaningful?”
More time outdoors? Discovering the intricacies of nature? Bearing witness to more sunrises and sunsets? Jumping into oceans and climbing trees?
Meeting new people, forming deeper connections with people you love? Less small talk, more real talk? Less gossip, more silent, breathless belly laughs?
More time with your family? And not just showing up at family obligations but actual quality time?
More giving and service, less consumption? Leaving this world a little better than you found it?
Joy, freedom, peace, well-being, connection. These things can’t just appear in your life if you don’t make them a priority.
Dreaming big and working hard can be exhausting sometimes. I don’t want to see myself one day as victorious but unhappy. I want to see myself smiling regardless of where I am and what I have in life.
All I want is to get out of bed and have only one goal for the day, which is to simply be happy. I want to do things that I truly love and not have to explain why I’m doing what I’m doing. I want to work on something not because it’s for my future but because it’s for my happiness.
I want to leave my house feeling excited, driven, and passionate about the promise of a new day, then come back home feeling accomplished, relaxed, and satisfied about everything that I have done.
I don’t want to worry about where I’m going. Am I better than yesterday or worse? Because being at the top of the game won’t guarantee me happiness. I need to learn to embrace the joy that comes from within.
Happiness isn’t defined by a handsome salary, 6-pack abs, a filthy rich partner, or a perfect BMI. It’s not about the job designation and the paycheck that comes along with it. It’s not about having a lot of friends but having a few people I can always count on.
I don’t mind if I live in a very simple world. As long as I’m in a place where I can immediately find peace. As long as I’m doing what I’m passionate about. As long as I get to see the person that I love every single day of my life, I’m satisfied & happy with life. I hope the universe is listening to me on this & working on a plan on my behalf :)
I want the happiness that comes from giving my heart to someone and knowing that it’s going to be taken care of. I want to share my affection and love and be assured that someone’s going to give them back to me. I want someone to kiss all my worries away and hold my hands to make me feel safe. Someone who says, it’s okay if I end up in DNF (Did Not Finish) in a race, yet he waits to hug me in the finish line of a marathon. Him, being the most precious medal of my life, although I have 100+ medals in the hallway earned with blood & sweat all through years of training. After all, everyone celebrates every time I win, but who is beside me when I’m injured, have my lows, do not feel like waking up, my production release had a rollback, when my A/B tests failed, when the features I built had to be scraped, and my KPIs hit all-time low numbers?
All I want is to become the person who chooses happiness above all and is proud of it. The person who’s unapologetic and never pays attention to what other people have opinions about. I want to live a life in which I don’t have to think so much about my future because living in the present is already enough.
The greatest shifts in my own life have come from living more intentionally. From choosing to prioritize exploration, experiences, creativity, a play date, connection, family, and my health. And choosing to prioritize them now — not some abstract point in future “when I’ll have the time and means.”
No. Because nothing is guaranteed beyond the now. And when my time is up, whenever that will be, these things will all have contributed more to a meaningful life than time spent labouring for someone else’s ideal of success ever will.
So, what will you choose?
And I want to smile at the world, my cocoon that I’ve created.
Like someone said — Happiness is a state of mind.
Make happiness a habit.
